Attraction, Chemistry, and Rejection in Forró: How Connections Are Born (and Die) on the Dance Floor
- Rafael Piccolotto de Lima
- Feb 1
- 3 min read
On the dance floor, almost nothing is random. Who we invite to dance, who we want to stay with for more than one song, and who, for some reason, we do not want to repeat the same experience with are choices shaped by subtle and deeply personal perceptions.
This blog was born as a reflection inspired by a series of videos produced for the Forró New York YouTube channel. The series was built from interviews conducted at a forró party in Campinas, in the countryside of São Paulo state, at a venue called Brusuca.
From these conversations, this three-part text emerged. It follows the three videos and raises important questions about social interaction and the lived experience of dancing forró.
Part 1 – Attraction in Forró: What Makes Someone Want to Dance With You
Attraction is the beginning of any encounter on the dance floor. It appears before the dance itself, in the gaze, posture, presence, and in the way someone listens to the music and positions themselves in the space. All of this communicates something.
When we choose someone to dance with, we are responding to signals such as openness, attentiveness, care, style, musicality, and availability, and each person perceives these signals in a different way.
What is most interesting is that many of these qualities can be developed over time and through practice. In forró, attraction is that first silent invitation that makes someone think, “I would like to dance with this person.”
Part 2 – Chemistry in Forró: What Makes Someone Want to Dance Again
If attraction opens the door, chemistry makes someone stay.
Some dances simply do not want to end. The song finishes and the desire to dance one more immediately appears.
Chemistry emerges when the dance flows: when styles align, the touch feels comfortable, the embrace feels good, the body relaxes, and there is listening and exchange. In that moment, the dance stops being just an accepted invitation and becomes an experience that both people build together.
Chemistry is not something that happens by chance.
It is built through attention, sensitivity, and the way two people choose to dance together. This “taste of wanting more” is what makes some partnerships feel special.
Part 3 – Rejection in Forró: When the Dance Pushes People Apart
In contrast, not every dance ends with the desire to repeat it.
Sometimes it ends in silence, in distance, or simply in an invitation that does not happen again.
Rejection is also part of the forró experience and came up in the interviews conducted on the dance floor.
People spoke about situations that cause discomfort, such as invading personal space, lack of bodily awareness, disrespect for the other person’s comfort, issues with technique and rhythm, lack of attention to hygiene, and above all, the difficulty of perceiving when the exchange stops being mutual.
I also include here an important and delicate topic: boundaries around sensuality.
Closeness, pleasure, chemistry, and sensuality can be a beautiful part of the dance experience, but they only work when there is reciprocity and attention to what the other person is feeling. When this does not happen, the connection is lost and the dance stops being enjoyable.
Conclusion – Attraction, Chemistry, and Rejection in Forró
This trilogy about attraction, chemistry, and rejection in forró is, at its core, about human relationships. About how we approach one another, how we continue, and sometimes, how we move away. Dancing with another person is an exercise in balance between what I want and what the other person feels. In forró, as in any relationship, connection cannot be imposed. It is built.
If this topic resonated with you, and if you have your own experiences, perceptions, or thoughts you would like to share, this space is also yours.
Feel free to leave a comment here on the blog or, if you prefer, to join the conversation directly on YouTube, where the interaction is usually even richer. It is always a joy to read your comments and exchange ideas with you here.
About the author
Rafael Piccolotto de Lima is an experienced teacher. He is passionate about arts, a doctor of musical arts, and a Latin Grammy nominee as a composer.
For him, all forms of expression are somehow related. Based on that premise, his interest and work have a wide spectrum: from a tail tux at a concert hall, to the dance shoes at a worn-out dance floor.
Born in Campinas, São Paulo - Brazil, now he lives at the NYC area, teaches weekly forró classes in Manhattan and is the creator of Forró New York, its festivals and online courses.
Website: www.rafaelpl.com
YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/rafaelpdelima
Instagram: www.instagram.com/rafaelpiccolottodelima/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RafaelPiccolottodeLima/
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