Forró Feedback: What to Say (and What to Avoid) on the Dance Floor
- Rafael Piccolotto de Lima
- 5 days ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
Forró socials are spaces where people come with good intentions. Most dancers genuinely want to connect, have fun, and offer a pleasant experience to their partner. And yet, uncomfortable moments still happen on the dance floor.
Often, the issue isn’t attitude or lack of care. It’s a lack of awareness. This can show up in many ways: poor posture, leading or following that forces the other person’s body, uncomfortable use of counterbalance, an embrace that doesn’t feel welcoming, or even personal hygiene. In most cases, these things aren’t intentional. The person is simply doing what they believe is right, without realizing how it feels to someone else.
That’s where things become complicated. You may be dancing with someone who is clearly well intentioned and genuinely wants to have a good time with you, but something in the way they move, connect, or carry themselves is making the dance uncomfortable. Not out of disrespect, but out of missing information or self-awareness.
Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and debating what the best approach really is. I’ve talked with many dancers in informal conversations in the US, Europe, and Brazil, across very different forró scenes, asking what they usually do in these situations. Most people say the same thing: they don’t say anything. They either endure the discomfort quietly, hoping the dance will improve, or they simply avoid dancing with that person again.
In a way, this silence feels elegant. It avoids embarrassment and protects the moment. But it also comes at a cost. It creates a bad experience for the person enduring the discomfort, and it removes any opportunity for the other dancer to become aware, adjust, and grow as a social dancer.
So where is the line? When is it helpful to speak up, and when is it better to stay quiet? How should forró dance feedback be offered, and what should never be said on the dance floor? These questions don’t have simple answers, but they’re worth talking about.
Here’s how I think about it.
What Can Be Said
Some adjustments are worth mentioning. Anything that affects comfort or safety, like:
A heavy embrace that limits movement
Excessive counterbalance that throws your partner off balance
A posture that causes pain
The choice of movements that are dangerous in a party environment (such as aerial moves)
…can and should be communicated.
But how you say it matters as much as what you say. A paternalistic or corrective tone often shuts down receptivity. A warm, gentle approach, with a smile, works much better. For example:
“I prefer this way, it makes our dance more comfortable for me. I understand you like it that way, but this adjustment helps me stay balanced”
Small words, positive tone, respect for your partner, they make all the difference.
What Should Be Avoided
Some comments don’t belong on the dance floor, like:
Correcting steps or teaching moves without being asked
Criticizing style or movement preferences
These can feel paternalistic, create tension, and take away the fun. Save these discussions for classes or workshops, where feedback is welcome and the context is right.
And What About Hygiene? Should Anything Be Said?
This is a tricky topic. Personal hygiene issues are usually easy to prevent. Taking a shower, washing your hair, using deodorant, brushing your teeth, or even popping a mint before heading out already solves most situations. But when an unpleasant smell shows up during an event, things become much more delicate.
Most people instinctively avoid dancing with someone who smells unpleasant. Saying something directly might help future experiences, but it can also make the present moment socially uncomfortable for both people involved. So the question becomes less about being right or wrong, and more about whether saying something in that moment actually helps. What, then, is the best way to handle it?
My Experiences on the Floor - Forró Dance Feedback
Based on all the thoughts and questions explored in this blog, I decided to take advantage of being in Brazil, attending many forró parties, to experiment with different approaches to dancing when moments of discomfort arise. I wanted to see firsthand how feedback, or the lack of it, affects the flow, connection, and overall experience on the dance floor.
I tried two approaches:
Speaking up gently when something was uncomfortable
Adjusting my own dancing silently, using simple strategies to minimize problems. For example, if a partner had a problematic embrace, I would switch to open position. If they leaned their head forcefully over mine, I would lean back. In open position, if they used excessive counterweight, I would let go lightly, avoiding the need to counterbalance. If a follower put too much weight on my shoulder or arm, I would release my hold to avoid carrying it.
The difference was clear. Those open to feedback responded positively. The dance flowed better, the connection was stronger, and both of us left happy.
With the silent approach, the results were mixed. Often, the other person noticed the misalignment or my subtle distancing, sometimes feeling a quiet discomfort themselves. In one case, a dancer even stopped the dance mid-song, despite being the one who had invited me in the first place.
Of course, some people are not open to feedback. Ego or personal reasons can make any comment feel like an attack. In those cases, there’s little you can do. You either accept the discomfort or avoid dancing with them. Over time, noticing that multiple partners avoid dancing with someone can be a signal they need to adjust, sometimes the only lesson that works.
Classes and Workshops: A Safe Space for Feedback
As someone who has been involved in forró education, teaching for nearly a decade, I see classes and workshops as one of the healthiest spaces for this kind of dynamic. They offer a context where awareness can grow naturally and where feedback feels expected rather than awkward. Private lessons can be even more effective, creating an environment where dancers feel comfortable asking questions, receiving direct feedback, and exploring habits with the guidance of an experienced instructor.
Even dancers with many years of experience benefit from this. Socials often reinforce habitual ways of moving, and without a safe space for reflection, certain uncomfortable patterns can easily go unnoticed.
One important distinction is that not all classes are about building a bigger repertoire or learning flashy moves. As an instructor, I focus primarily on fundamentals—on making the dance smoother, safer, and more enjoyable for both partners. If this way of thinking resonates with you, I encourage you to take classes and workshops as a way to deepen your dancing and enjoy socials even more.
A Note on Talking During the Dance
It is also worth remembering that many people go out to dance, not necessarily to talk.
Small talk and introductions can be friendly and welcome, especially before or after a song, but inviting someone to dance and then using most of that time to talk instead of actually dancing can feel uncomfortable or inappropriate.
The dance itself is already a form of communication, and while some people enjoy chatting while moving, others simply want to connect through the music and the movement. Paying attention to how open the other person is to chatting and respecting that space is also part of good forró.
And You?
How do you handle these situations? Are you comfortable receiving feedback from your partner? Can you give constructive comments to improve the dance, or do you keep quiet and later avoid dancing with someone whose habits are uncomfortable?
About the author
Rafael Piccolotto de Lima is an experienced teacher. He is passionate about arts, a doctor of musical arts, and a Latin Grammy nominee as a composer.
For him, all forms of expression are somehow related. Based on that premise, his interest and work have a wide spectrum: from a tail tux at a concert hall, to the dance shoes at a worn-out dance floor.
Born in Campinas, São Paulo - Brazil, now he lives at the NYC area, teaches weekly forró classes in Manhattan and produces some of the best forró festivals in North-America.
Website: www.rafaelpdelima.com
YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/rafaelpdelima
Instagram: www.instagram.com/rafaelpiccolottodelima/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/RafaelPiccolottodeLima/
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